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The deepest secrets and drunkenest rantings from Australia's premier pop combo

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Oh, and I almost forgot. If, somewhere around Newcastle, you see a slightly tall, kinda tough looking guy with a number 2 buzz cut riding a DogTown skateboard, could you politely beat the fuck outta him and send the skateboard our way. It belongs to Bob, the Bouncing Souls sound guy, and this cunt stole it from the dressing room after I told him that it was Bob's and not to touch it. Cheers fuckears.
Hey there ladies and gentlemen. Firstly may I thank everyone who’s come along to our little rock n roll shows over the last coupla weeks. They’ve been going off a treat and it’s all down to you people. And of course our sheer professionalism and talent, and that of the Bouncing Souls, the Quickening, Steve Towson, The Disables, The Optionals, Unpaid Debt, HBlock 101 and Ebola Goldfish.

But I would also like to offer my sincerest apology to the people manhandled by the security at the Arena last saturday night. When we booked the show we were vaguely aware that they had a reputation, but at the Waterloo we had experienced similar rubbish, so we opted for the club that allowed us to do a combined all-ages show. I don’t think we’ll be making that mistake again. I noticed the bouncers up the front being a little heavy handed with the crowd surfers, and we tried to calm them down, but it was only after the show that we found out that they were headlocking them, dragging them out the door, and slamming the heads of the larger audience members against the brick wall of the venue before chucking them out. Now I know there were warnings that crowdsurfing would result in being thrown out, but nowhere did it advise that “Crowdsurfers will be grabbed by knucklehead security guards, put in a tight headlock to cut off the circulation to their brain, dragged out through the crowd, slammed against a brick wall and unceremoniously thrown out into the street. Thank you, enjoy the show.” That would have been a more appropriate warning.

I would also like to thank the lovely manageress off the club for grabbing me, scratching me and trying to throw me over the balcony for walking in the wrong direction. My mistake, and it’ll never happen again, at least not in your club. Because I for one will never be going there again.

Please tell me, good people of Brisbane, where the fuck is a good place to play? The Waterloo’s fucked, the Arena’s fucked, the Gabba’s closed, the Chardon’s Corner is bloody awesome, but too small for us stadium-style rock bands. I hear the Chelsea has reopened, but then reclosed just as quickly. What’s going on there? We used to love playing there. C’mon, there’s got to be somewhere.

I guess in the meantime, everyone should support Club Sabotage’s roving rock ‘n’ roll rooms,The Chardon’s Corner hotel, Rick’s, the Racehorse Hotel in Ipswitch, and any other smaller venue that doesn’t believe in mindless violence. Or you could just go to the Depot and listen to mindless drunk cunts such as Gordy and Myself Djing a bunch of bad metal and Toto superhits whilst drinking the cheapest Coopers Longnecks in town.

Cheers, Brisvegans, and a big fuck you to the Arenarseholes,


Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Hey there Gang. Just got an email from the wonderful Evan from French webzine visual music, letting me know the interview was up for me to look at. Of course I can't speak the French lingo, so I ran it through one of those internet translator pages. Well, the hilarity to ensue was of such a standard that I just had to share it with you, below. I'm sure it's not the way they intended for it to read. If you speak Frog, click the link below. If not, read on for a rare glimpse into multi-cultural Frenzal Rhomb...


This immediately following their concert gave to the Trabendo, in company of Roger Murray and Dropkick Murphys that Lindsay of the Frenzal Rhomb welcomes us in the lodgings. Surrounded by beers and other alcohols (to believe that they emptied the fridge of the Dropkicks...) that an interview more or less disconnected to place. History of better connaitre this group that does a true box in his country, australia.

Philloux: Then, you foresee what after this concert?
Lindsay: immediately following? One will stuff oneself the mouth until an hour in the morning, and...[] will drive us to the ferry in buses. But there inside, one will not succeed in well to sleep because of the cold one, and at last, one oneself réveillera tomorrow morning on the ferry. Nan, indeed, one goes just to go to bed, as brave people. And in the future, one will leave in turned for a week and one will return at last to Sydney to celebrate my 26 years.
Evans: Oh, anniversary joyous.
Lindsay: Thank-you (in French).

Between times, small meeting photo where stretched Lindsay to suffocate us to blow of well fatty pet.

Philloux: And how one feels after such a concert?
Lindsay: Very well! I feel better than before the concert, because one went to Amsterdam harms it last. Suddenly, one did not be really net... I do not smoke any marijuana but there always is a lot of things that one can buy over there... But ouais, there after the concert, one drank oneself some beers.

Philloux: THIS IS the first time that you come in France?
Lindsay: No, one is passed in company of The Than Jake to the Black Ball. One also played in the same room in company of Useless ID, the following year, it was with NOFX.

Philloux: On your site internet, there is a section photos where one can see Lindsay in the process of kissing with the tower Eiffel...
Lindsay: (laugh) Ouais ouais, fuck the Tower Eiffel. Fuck germany, Fuck Holland, etc...

Philloux: During the recording of the last album, you were in the same state of mind that beforehand?
Lindsa: Absolutely! And leave in turned in company of the Dropkick Murphys and of Roger Murray, that does us good, because one knows now that one is well punker than them.

Philloux: How you met the Dropkick Murphys?
Lindsay: IT WAS to the bed, one has ren...
Evans: You have well says to the bed?
Lindsay ( replying very seriously) : Yes, absolutely! One went to the bed an evening and one awakened with Al Barr side issue that said us (while taking the typical accent d'Al Barr) : "Hey, how that goes? J'suis Al Barr of the Dropkick Murphys! ". One said "Yes, this is cool", one will leave in turned with you. " And it said "Ah, ok".

Philloux: You currently linked to a lot d' associations. You can talk about us some a?
Lindsay: Ouais, one bump with the legalization association of homosexual marriages, with the associations of big mamelles and big couilles, big mamelles and small couilles, limitless couilles, liberations of animals, right of animals refugees....
Philloux: And you are also in cooperation with the PETA.
Lindsay: Yes, one did some advertisings for them.

Evans: HAS matters of the marriages homos, you knew that arnorld Schwarzenegger tried to forbid these marriages and other relations against natures?
Lindsay: Ouaipe, of course. Georges Bush is in this very moment in the process of clearing a passage through the American congress, in the process of trying to change the constitution.

Evans: And that does you what?
Lindsay: Ca gives me envies to butt it. But the thing that appears for me strange, this is that Georges Bush spends his time to the bed with all these whores of america businessman. It kisses all the people to the States and it wants to forbid the marriages homos... Etrange. You knew that him and Arnold screwed themselves for a number of years. This is a terrible thing. The thing, this is that our country (NDR: australia) wants to resemble the USA. Our whore of fool of prime minister there holds absolutely. And your whore of fool of Jacques Chirac that sold iradium for these whole years... When it did its atomic tests in the Peaceful ocean, one was furious against the French. But one was those that sold you all this iradium to make these bombs. This is does not import what. But at least, Jacques Chirac did not want to leave at war, this that is a good thing.

Philloux: Otherwise, you listen what in turned?
Lindsay: The last disc that I typed was myself the one of Neil Hamburger. Ca comes from San Francisco...[]. This is not poorly of the all. There is also The Anyones, the group of Melvin. And there is also groups it Soforos Brothers: a group does by me and Jesse (singer and scratches Frenzal Rhomb) and that talks about put to bed with homos. On the other hand, there is a thing that I do not listen, this is the sideproject of Tom (while pointing finger the bass player of Frenzal Rhomb). This is really horrible. Horrible, horrible. But it there nonetheless two persons in his town that are fans.

Philloux: You are in conflicts with Burning Flag.
Lindsay: Yes, it is true. This is because of an Australian festival that one did, and one wondered this that could be More australian than to have a whore of [winch?]. Then one has brulé the national flag to say that australia was going to dump us over. But they did not appreciate! The people always think that the flag of a country represents the military side, the culture, the tradition... I TROUBLE all that! Flag whore Australian...

Philloux: Nevertheless, Anti-anti-flag does is more or less in the same trip than you.
Lindsay: Ouais, it is true, but they do it a lot better. They write better texts. Holds, besides, they turn in France soon?
Evans: Ouais, I believe, soon. To the elysée Montmartre (NDevans: For my defense, the date back to the Destruction Turn again had not fallen).
Lindsay: Ah yes, Montmartre, this is there also as one played with Nofx. The last year, I there have besides taggué a destined message to Anti-anti-flag on the wall. Their music is really good, a very voucher groups. All that they done very good east.

Philloux: And about your relations with the others group Fatwreck Records?
Lindsay: Sexual. Sexual...relations
Philloux ... : and with Conceited Mike of Nofx...
Evans ... : use you of the collapse, vaseline or poppers with him?

... Some melts, "Rhythm To Arms" Dropkick Murphys is started while the group suddenly begins whistling and to yell. A type between announcing in French "These songs are magnificent... " Lindsay repeats...

Lindsay: Ouais, of course. Besides, I tried the poppers it ya some days for the first time. I completely forgot that I was. I tried it in the bottom of a pal... Ouais, I was completely broken and nevertheless, I do not smoke any marijuana. Stupidly broken even.

Philloux: Your artworks show inventiveness, a small word there over?
Lindsay: Yes, one saw looked at an album photo and one has well laughed. One has also a pal that draws... It slaves over on the pochette of "Without Concerns..." [] but not the one of"has Man I's Not HAS Truck". This type is very funny, it is obese and has the red hair. A true winner. What do one can well to want of more? All that was perfect. On the other hand, it did not do the pochette of "Dick Sandwich", this is someone of other.

Philloux: In France, one not connait that 4 or 5 groups that come from australia: ac/dc, Silverchair, Brody Dales of the Distill and Midnight Oil... If puts one aside Midnight Oil, one knows that you began playing the punk one very young one as Silverchair had done it. One knows also as you are also sexy as Brody Dale... Then now, are you ready to play the rock one also a long time qu' ac/dc?
Lindsay: Oh Brody is rather well screwed-up... thank-you a lot (laugh)! Yes, evidently that I would like to play the rock n' roll also a long time qu ' ac/dc didit. But I would have just as well liked be as beautiful as the singer of Midnight Oil, with his bald skull when I was younger. It is so old, but nevertheless seems really well. I venère ac/dc! I have them besides seen two years ago and this are really the better ones. Angus Young did not stop budging for two hours to play the gratt'!

Evans: And would you like to do a day of the concerts as big as those d ' ac/dc?With gigantic planets, a lot of firework, in big stadiums?
Lindsay: (laugh) Ouais, if one could fill the rooms, ouais! Because there, to the basis, this that one does this is recreation.. Then that would be not really well to do that. But one played in an Australian festival with about 12 000 persons. But never inside a stadium. One has just does a concert also in Arizona for the Warp Turn. It was inside a big théatre that turned! It was really inspired! But good, person did not look at us, but one some screwed oneself, it was too good (laugh).

Philloux: You played with a ton of groups of punk one. A memory of them? And which was your favorite group?
Lindsay: Reel Big Fish... IT WAS merde. And there is also Fenix*Tx, you know?
Evans: Ouais, they have splitté the last...year
Lindsay: Ouais, again happy. It is bad, really. And there is the Dropkick Murphys, I hate them. As for Roger Murray, they are really weak...

Evans: Now, question traditionelle: you have a question to put you to yourself?
Lindsay: Ouais... (excessive moment of reflection of 30 seconds). No, indeed, no. Indeed, I have especially a thing to ask you you: there is French words that I do not arrive to comprehend. What wants to say "This song is magnificent"?
Evans: "This song i's magnificiant".
Lindsay: And you eat thighs of frogs?
Evans: Euh, not me.
Philloux: Me, once, it was frank dégueu.
Lindsay: And you devour snails?
Evans: Ouais, I love.
Lindsay: (overbidding) And couilles of bulls?
Evans: Hmm, not really...
Lindsay: because we to the United States, one some eats, this is besides of that that one speaks in "Bullshief" ("Without Concerns"). I think that this is really bad to eat that...
Hey there my good ladies and gentlemen. Tis Lindsay here, freshly returned from that cold wet place full of weird accents and jackboots. We survived the 25 hour flight and got back yesterday afternoon, on my 26th fucking birthday. But enough talk of the past, I'm putting together a tour diary of those shenanigans that I'm sure shall make it into some below-par teen music mag at some stage.

Right now I wanna talk about the future, the immediate future in fact. Coz tomorrow is the Start of our Aussie tour. The Anchors Aweigh Ye Arseholes Tour 2004, to be precise (at least I think it's called that, I've only seen it written on the bill posters). The Bouncing Souls get in tomorrow morning, probably less Jet-lagged than us, and tomorrow night, thursday the 11th we kick things off in fine style at the Metro, George St, Sydney. First up is Ebola Goldfish, who rape the stage at around 8, followed by the Souls and then us, followed by some partytime Djing in the front bar by our good friends the Pash DJs until the wee hours. There's all the makings of a bloody tops night out right there. Of course, we've only been allowed to do 25 minute sets throughout Europe so the Dropkicks could do their 15 minute bagpipe / tin whistle duels and the like, so whether we're matchfit enough for a full headline set remains to be seen, but surely you've come to expect nothing less from us half-arsed cunts.

Following that, and a long snooze, we're heading way out west, Blacktown to be precise, to play the RSL club on Friday night, with Unpaid Debt and of course the Bouncing Souls. The Souls are from NYC, so none of you tough westside homies better try anything on us, we'll set the New Yorkers onto you, tell 'em you're mates with the 9/11 hijackers or something.

Saturday sees us heading down to a place almost as cold and wet as Europe - Melbourne. Two giant nights at the Corner hotel. Saturday is for the big boys and girls, so we can all get drunk and finger each other in the arse. H-Block are supporting, gonna be awesome to see those dudes again, and DJ Goldfoot is gonna make you swing your pants post - rock show. Sunday is for the little dudes, so any drinking and fingering is gonna have to be done behind the railroad tracks before the show, okay? Same lineup I believe, though DJ Goldfoot may take a leave of absence to hock his foot for some chips at the Crown Casino.

Righto, I've noticed I've been talking shit, please excuse my jetlag, I'm off to eat some more of my monkey face-shaped birthday cake and rock back and forth.

Happy birthday to meeee, happy birthday toooo meeeeee...

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Welcome to FrenzalBlog, you pack of cunts! It's Lindsay here, live from Dublin, the city The Dropkick Murphy's wish they were from, in Ireland, the only country civilised enough to not squeeze pig fat into the Guinness. So this new blog thingy makes it far too easy for us drunk arseholes to talk to you lovely people at any time at all, and it will be published instantly, so everything we say you're gonna see. So get prepared for some drunken whinging and stoned paranoid ramblings from your favourite pseudo-punk poseurs, Frenzal Rhomb.

First things first though, Ireland's the only country where Guinness is vegan, so I'm taking my hippy arse off to a pub. Happy Fuckday, Arsemouths!

Love forever, Lindsay.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

I hearby announce the official Friends of Ron blog to be opened.

Commence profanity and defamation procedures now


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