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The deepest secrets and drunkenest rantings from Australia's premier pop combo

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Hey there ladies and gentlemen. Firstly may I thank everyone who’s come along to our little rock n roll shows over the last coupla weeks. They’ve been going off a treat and it’s all down to you people. And of course our sheer professionalism and talent, and that of the Bouncing Souls, the Quickening, Steve Towson, The Disables, The Optionals, Unpaid Debt, HBlock 101 and Ebola Goldfish.

But I would also like to offer my sincerest apology to the people manhandled by the security at the Arena last saturday night. When we booked the show we were vaguely aware that they had a reputation, but at the Waterloo we had experienced similar rubbish, so we opted for the club that allowed us to do a combined all-ages show. I don’t think we’ll be making that mistake again. I noticed the bouncers up the front being a little heavy handed with the crowd surfers, and we tried to calm them down, but it was only after the show that we found out that they were headlocking them, dragging them out the door, and slamming the heads of the larger audience members against the brick wall of the venue before chucking them out. Now I know there were warnings that crowdsurfing would result in being thrown out, but nowhere did it advise that “Crowdsurfers will be grabbed by knucklehead security guards, put in a tight headlock to cut off the circulation to their brain, dragged out through the crowd, slammed against a brick wall and unceremoniously thrown out into the street. Thank you, enjoy the show.” That would have been a more appropriate warning.

I would also like to thank the lovely manageress off the club for grabbing me, scratching me and trying to throw me over the balcony for walking in the wrong direction. My mistake, and it’ll never happen again, at least not in your club. Because I for one will never be going there again.

Please tell me, good people of Brisbane, where the fuck is a good place to play? The Waterloo’s fucked, the Arena’s fucked, the Gabba’s closed, the Chardon’s Corner is bloody awesome, but too small for us stadium-style rock bands. I hear the Chelsea has reopened, but then reclosed just as quickly. What’s going on there? We used to love playing there. C’mon, there’s got to be somewhere.

I guess in the meantime, everyone should support Club Sabotage’s roving rock ‘n’ roll rooms,The Chardon’s Corner hotel, Rick’s, the Racehorse Hotel in Ipswitch, and any other smaller venue that doesn’t believe in mindless violence. Or you could just go to the Depot and listen to mindless drunk cunts such as Gordy and Myself Djing a bunch of bad metal and Toto superhits whilst drinking the cheapest Coopers Longnecks in town.

Cheers, Brisvegans, and a big fuck you to the Arenarseholes,

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